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Nihilennium (1998)

Nihilennium was the second Pagan Lorn CD. It was released in February 1998 and if offered 10 songs at a total play time of more than 45 minutes. The album was recorded by Joachim Kopka at Linster Studios, Luxembourg, ant the cover art (16 pages colour booklet) was created by Jos F. Kirps.

01_outrage.mp3 (4.6 MB)
02_silence.mp3 (5.6 MB)
03_prone.mp3 (5.5 MB)
04_freezing.mp3 (7.7 MB)
05_collapsed.mp3 (5.1 MB)
06_youvsyou.mp3 (4.1 MB)
07_impose.mp3 (2.2 MB)
08_gone.mp3 (7.0 MB)
09_andforgotten.mp3 (4.9 MB)
10_hiddentrack.mp3 (4.1 MB)

1. Outrage

unflagging the tumescence grows
in your joy and changes into enviousness
an unstoppable conqueror
prospering in the middle of your endless ranks
strangling you to death with his cold hand
rippling chatter is the alloy of your skin
stubborn appearance is our armor
our spoken words are numerous and hurting
the glow is our obsession
intense coldness and the cutlass of purity
burn themselves through the decayed skull of your innocence
beautiful brutal violence shreds the monster
beasts with human brains is what we are
sharpened senses and nothing to loose
instinctively acting
free living
for us haiting is an art
hear the progressing step of the machine
the chivalrous rescuer
masturbating pure energy
live the pounding
the might
the marching of our dreams
massive rage
formed into the inner meaning
the death-squadron is alive
the legion crushes your detestable frailty
you will become
or you will pass by
nameless
a single selection done by life
does it only take these few words
to change your will into mine
gnawing weakness scolding from
distorted faces is our opponent
no escape submit yourself to your fate
and try to form yourself somehow
any new beginning tolerated
surrender ends with carnage

2. Silence For A Day

as an uprising son
(it hallows)
as a tragedy of facts
(it hallows)
as an unfailing glory
(it hallows)
as a melody of trust
(it hallows)
this burden
a companion of mine
my mindclaw
breaking my speech
a mask of panic
hiding the flesh
not more inside than outside
in a time of restlessness
my existence is brought into ruin
how dead can life be
I am the core of pain
discontent smothers life
weakness controls being
all this shame on my small world
can I deprive myself of the unwanted
screaming tears
cutting my eyes
me between it
and yourself
right at the end
before I started
let the worm grow
up to the deadline
will you trust me as I am now
will you respect me as I am now
will you hold me as I am now
will you love me as I am now
a fact cannot be handled as a lie
it should be proclaimed as a warning
no end to see and my time runs short
a taste of fear enters my mouth
when it grows up you can never know
how to deal with it or how to name it
as my show ends and the lights go down
I will be the martyr of my weakness
spit it out
admire your work
contentment occurs
hope you will not find my weakness in it

3. Prone

why should I deny
that I will not resist
how could I decline
when I am still prone
welcome
to the weird travel through my wood
of uncertain emotions
the wedlock between laudable and barren dreams
welcome
to my world
a circus of nakedness
chase these thoughts away
take my lust away
welcome
to my inner side
enter the disaster
drill yourself into the fat
go inside
welcome
to the sexual and imperious art
chase these thoughts away
take my lust away
sell me a smile
and I will give you happiness
drowning in tears of hate
material man
tortured man
no man
hammer and the meat will die
through the laughing face
breaks a resounding disgust
it tries to inhale my life
it pins your flesh in my open mouth
my thoughts crawl into your hole
any nerve in an evil minefield
will burn me out
because #!*home is where the lust lives
hammer until the meat is dead

4. Freezing Lust

the cold comes
increasing my mind
a vision getting clearer
harder
your beauty grows
stunning my mind
pureness will come
impurity must go
my obsession
my offender
could I die for you
my obsession
my offender
let me freeze by your kiss of anger
oh winter here you are
oh winter long awaited cold
hold my hand
be my friend
scare the day
then take it away
much to be
nothing to see
hold my hand
be my friend
all these sinners
stabbed by your coldness
any lie will freeze my thoughts away
so refreshed by your cold in winter nights
show me your other the warm side of yours
burning in the hearts you left deranged
when your lips kiss me
for a single moment
everything gets and looses its sense
come and take this longing away
so visit every corner
of my ill-treated body
and taste any liquid
a man could give for you
I am your father
your lover
your son
coldborn in the sorrow of night
december love
let us become one
diving into freezing lust
hold my hand
be my friend
scare the day
then take it away
much to be
nothing to see
hold my hand
be my friend
you end and re-start my life
with your mighty and cruel allies
the snow on your perfect beauty
the storm in your whispered words
the ice in your freezing blood
the cold in your crystal eyes
the mist covering your womanhood
the death in your blackened heart
you are more than any love
you make me smile
and rip it off
you kill me
and make me live
you take more than I can give
you show me that I am small
you will catch me if I should fall
you are the one to torture me
you are so good for me
I cannot deny my existence
my addiction to you is growing strong
I cannot keep on believing
that my behaviour and my lust is wrong
make me grow hard
drive me insane
just give me your love I try to sustain
be my goddess
be my soul
be the one who keeps me under control
oh winter
here you are
oh winter
long awaited cold
winter time
death-wish time
I whisper and scream your name
I demand come in
take over
do not leave me
like you did before
your slave
your toy
nothing is what I am
possessing the dirt
the flesh
the coldness
I am your man
mentally burdened holy winter
please profit by me
white evil
I will kill death for you
you are more than any love
you make me smile
and rip it off
you kill me and make me live
you take more than I can give
you show me that I am small
you will catch me if I should fall
you are the one to torture me
you are so good for me
creature of instincts
pure being
come and take me
I am yours
I am waiting for you
and if you need an eternity
I will wait
I will wait
I will wait ...

5. Collapsed

used thoughts
second thoughts
compact thoughts
no longer the one you were
become and play your role
who goes for the throne must go for the king
this matter is not overdue
still no change to see in your self-absorption
and the animal runs amuck
getting stronger
I start taking pleasure in these thoughts
but is it real or just a lie
a need
demanding discipline
love of order accused
in an inner-war
the dependence and the selfishness strengthened
but unacceptable
my unsecureness makes it feel safe
any thought is a declaration of love
any anticipated joy
on the outbreak
the crushing firmness hardens
a bit of pain
a bit overloaded
and I live again
self-confidence of the undestroyable
the power of the inferior winner is
the might of the motor inside
the secret in my head
if it is too fast it does not matter
because the hole becomes bigger
any lie takes its revenge
any illusion is going to devour me
one step too far
or maybe two steps behind
is it more than you have ever had
ever been
ever known
a sense I do not know
and I will never know
relax and drift above
I am sure you will love the joke
please trust a man who would never lie
the one you have passed by with your innocence
your eyes you have open wide
you will need to cry
smiles sounding between my words
a child that dies to live like a gentleman
a prison-guard
a prisoner
a sense I will never know
and never give to you
finally you start drinking
as you swallow you grow up
filling yourself with yours
it is good to become yourself
push and restart
clear up your picture
what hurts can be killed
the meal gets your own taste
you are prospering
enjoying every single step
every new refreshing breath
milking your life
you feel the changes begin
is the secret the remorse afterwards
I pay your price
anyway but I have to give more than my megalomania
I am going to fail
that is a part of the role
or is there less
than I can see
no answers
will this eternal wandering end
will I live
or is this life
no answers
through confrontation I will find a way
and I will do so
the animal inside
the beast
the maniac
that is what it is for
my victory is his death
his existence to give me sense
and to die on my birth
so I will kill him !

6. You Vs You

what do you do when you return from your inner trail search
in your own interior
and you find yourself unchanged
will you call yourself a stranger
will you admit to yourself
your unconsciousness
towards your inner side
your emptiness strokes your being
but you need the sentiment of grievance
look into your eyes
remember the day
could you say it was worth living it
then you wish tomorrow will not come
because now yesterday is well-known
the perfect interplay of otherness and self-doubt
results in the state of death
and ends in listlessness
now you fit into the mosaic
and you will drown in his false appearance
so they even have taken away your death
look into your eyes
remember the day
could you say it was worth living it
then you wish tomorrow will not come
because now yesterday is well-known
creeping past self-control
hiding in the narrow lane of affection
all this is you
and so the distance to redemption grows
deranged by the disappointment
that everything you disdain reigns in yourself
now you know that you will never reach yourself
requirement becomes an unattainable utopia
abandon or keep on loosing
to face or accept anyone�s weakness
now you compete with yourself
you rip up your own inner side
no longer caught in the own system
look behind a wrong self-portrait
what you will find is what you are
locked up spirit
narrow minded
an inner excavation
so this knowledge needs a decision
the realisation implores for an acting
you resign
and maybe this is a new beginning

7. Impose

it is in me
wipes the smile from my face
extinguishes the splendour in my eyes
I cannot get away
I do not want to be captured once again
anything said becomes equal
so what is left
absolutely nothing in the nowhere
inner dirt destroys joy of life
do not trust in me
goodbye my love

8./9. Gone... And Forgotten

when time meets the end
names and deeds are forgotten
when time has buried all your memories
a soul looses its value
when living becomes surviving
when the forthcoming belongs to the past
you will kneel down
and pray to the horizon
to get a nightmare instead of reality
someone has given
and will take away
in a time of weakness
strength and discipline measure your life span
separating guilt from innocence
beyond help you face the truth
a triumphant procession into execution
combine your smile with honour
remember a day
different from the others
it is the day we will fade away brilliantly
then out of a sudden
through the lines of confusion
he breaks unharmed
unequal to everything
ever known
ever imagined
no one knows where he came from
or where he will go
this obscure
fearless
and blameless being
and for a last time
the old guard rises
to investigate
under the hero�s command
the dark stranger will
rip up your eyes
and blind you with your blindness
things are long done
your duty is to pay
for our faults
to die
but who cares
in the last hour
knowledge followed by decay is senseless anyway
in a rain of purification
a new belief is injected
existence is an arena
our death the sensation
acceptable perfection finally is reached
ride the passage with the brave
there will be no addition
while perishing
would you carry his honour
could you speak his name
will you accomplish the last order
filled with calculation
and glory
without regard
marching into a new area
while a black phoenix will overcome
any dream
and blathering
is imprisoned
in a mental cage
any weakness
any emotion
is sterilised
because acceptable perfection has been reached
the time has come to end this
the time has come to be gone and forgotten
to save lustless feelings of yours
someone has given
and will take away
in a time of weakness
strength and discipline measure your life-span
separating guilt from innocence
beyond help you face the truth
a triumphant procession into execution
combine your smile with honour
remember a day
different from the others
it is the day we will fade away brilliantly
he has disbanded another part of infinity
he will go on with the flow of another time
and while his spurs resound
and fill a dead world
one will know
he taught to die with a smile signifying nothing !